I must be too annoying 4 u.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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