It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize