I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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