I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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