after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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