my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
