I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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