i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
sarcasm needs its own font
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
