I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
