I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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