i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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