I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think i have two assholes
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
