So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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