So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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