New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
