Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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