Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize