She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
