I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
