Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
