guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
