I'm really into asian looking animals
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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