its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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