Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's official drugs can't kill me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were trust falling into bushes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
