Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
