I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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