@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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