Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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