i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
