Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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