i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Enjoy the penises
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
