I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
