i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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