I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So vagazzling was a success
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
