I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
