you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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