so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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