SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
