i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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