Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
