Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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