he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
