Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
