drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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