Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
