the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I could fuck to npr.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
