woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What a dumb baby whore.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
