i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
