So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
