he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize