Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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