i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize