I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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