Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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