dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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