PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
