Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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