Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
