I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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