and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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