went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
