I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
