Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
