He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
