i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
